Back to the roots

Phool ase phuli, kadam ase hali... fills the air as the women sing biya naam (nupital songs) and busies themselves with cutting betel nuts and paan(betel leaves). Some are busy decorating the maral (rangoli), in the courtyard where the wedding will be held. Strings of mango leaves with vermilion tika hanging on the doorways. The dunori(brass stands) and sarai been polished to a dull gold. It’s ‘marriage time’ in the family, and I am back in Assam.
Two banana trees adorn the entrance. Green coconuts on the mud pitchers are placed at the feet of these trees. In the centre of the courtyard, where the guests are trickling in, a huge sarai been placed with a huge bunch of betel nut, covered with a gamucha, cloth. Betel nuts have been brought in bunches from our ancestral home.
“Today,the bride and the groom are considered to be the epitomes of goddess Sita and Lord Rama. For their union, these items are significant to the ceremony,” my grandmother explains. “They are a must. Banana leaves, betel nut, coconut and bananas represents male fertility. While mango leaves, betel leaves and fish denotes female fertility”.
Earlier in the day, my grandmother had opened the big wooden chanduk (wooden box) kept in the corner of her room to take out the bell metal utensils to be used during the ceremony. Out came the huge tous (vessels), ladles, baan bati(bowls), baan kahi(dishes with stands) and thali. The cooks have already arrived from the nearby villages and are busy cooking the delicacies. No Assamese wedding is complete without dishes like labra(mixed vegetables), bilahir tok(tomato chutney), chana dal (lentils), muri ghonto (fish head’s curry) and mangsho (mutton curry), served with hot lucys (puri) and rice. It will be followed by a general helping of jalpan, chira, doi, gur and banana, served in baan bati. Add to that, the mihi-dana (a sweet), cream and lalmohans (a sweet) are delectable. The entire families from the bride’s and groom’s side will sit down for the feast.
The day began with bride’s father performing the nau purushor shraddha. It is a special ceremony, where the long-gone ancestors are honoured and invited to come and bless the auspicious occasion. Then the family and relatives sought the blessings to proceed with the wedding preparations. But what always fascinates me the most is the paani tula ceremony where sacred water is collected for the ceremonial bath of the bride. So, I join the ladies who have gathered for this ritual. They proceeded to the nearby river. My aunt carries the dunori. It contains a heap of rice, an earthen lamp, betel nut and leaves, a coin and a knife. On way to the river the ladies sing the biya naam extolling the beauty and virtues of the bride.
At the river’s bank, my aunt seeks the river’s permission to collect sacred water. A woman, posing as the river, questions my aunt as to why the water is needed and what did she see on her way to the river. My aunt replies: “I have come to collect water for my daughter’s wedding. On my way, I saw Lord Shiva and Parvati getting married”.
She then gestures to cut the water thrice with the knife and fills up five earthen pots. The group returns home without glancing at the river. As the custom goes, we are not supposed to look back. Meanwhile, the bride is made to sit on an asana (seat) made of trunk of the trees. The ladies take turns to smear her with a paste of turmeric and urad dal(lentils). The water from the pitchers are then used to bathe the bride.
It is evening now and I am at the wedding venue. The brideis dressed in the traditional mekhela-chaddar and riha. She looks resplendent in her joon biri, thuka suna and gum kharu --- all shinning jewellery that reflect the hopes and happiness of the new life she is about to enter. As I watch her and soak in the sounds, sights and smells, I realise that urbanisation and technology have not muted the verdant ethos of an Assamese wedding. It feels good.