Monday, July 14, 2014

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Urban chaos nurtures the most surprising relationships. These Punekars let us into theirs On one hand we complain that modern life does not value human relationships; but on the other, people form deep bonds across the barriers of age, gender and religion. The people of Pune speak of such relationships forged by love, mutual interests and mental wavelength. Three Punekars tell us about their special bonds. “There are things I can share only with her and not even with my mother.” Garima Singh and Chitralekha Das 23-year-old Garima Singh was in the seventh standard when she first met Chitralekha Das. Her army family moved to Pune in 2003 and shifted to the Controllerate of Quality Assurance (Special Vehicles) [CQA (SV)] Colony quarters at Dehu Road. It was there that Garima met Chitralekha Das, who is now 60 years old. “My father was in the army so we were always on the move,” says Garima, an MBA student. “Pune was alien to us, but we found family in Das uncle and aunty. The day I met aunty, I knew this bond was going to last forever.” Chitralekha, who used to be a dance and music teacher, often required someone to record songs for her; young Garima stepped in. “That’s how our bond started to develop,” says Garima. “Also, I loved going to her place and eat macher jhol bhaat. As a Punjabi, I was tired of eating rajma-chawal and chole-chawal. I grew up on aunty’s fish. Even today, whenever I come to meet aunty, I don’t leave without eating my favourite dish.” Over the years, their relationship has grown to simulate a mother-daughter one. So much so that Garima chose to pursue her studies in Pune even after her parents moved to Dehradun. “Just knowing that aunty would be nearby reassured my parents of my safety. Even after so many years, our relationship hasn’t changed,” she says. For Chitralekha, Garima is the daughter she never had. “I have two sons and always missed having a daughter with whom I could have girly talks,” says the boutique owner. “With Garima around, I have no complaints. Whenever I’m stuck while designing saris, Garima helps me out. Whenever she faces a dilemma about what to wear, she comes to me and I love dressing her up.” Their relationship is fluid. “I don’t call her very often or visit her frequently,” says Garima, “but when we meet, we take off from where we left. There are things I can share only with her and not even with my mother because I know she will not judge me.” "Gitanjali’s presence lifts me up whenever I am in the dumps" Gitanjali Rai and Indrajeet Handique “I met Indrajeet when he was just nine years old,” says Gitanjali Rai, devotional singer and life coach. “He and his friends used to come over to my place during satsangs at Wanawdi. It was mostly to eat the prasadam. Naughty as he was, he would wait for the programme to get over. Then he would tiptoe to where the musical instruments were kept and start plucking at the tanpura or thump the tabla. Seeing his interest in music, I asked his mother to get in touch with a music teacher.” That was many moons ago, in 2003, when Indrajeet had first landed with his family in the city from Assam. At Gitanjali’s advice, he started studying music. “The day he learnt his first chord,” says Gitanjali, who is in her 40s, “he ran up to my place and asked me to play the same chord on the harmonium.” That was how they connected. Indrajeet is now 20 years old and Gitanjali has his guide through every stage. “When Indrajeet reached his teens, he became restless and his thoughts and expressions were clouded,” says Gitanjali. “I tried to pin down the cause of his extreme feelings and initiated him into spirituality.” He would accompany Gitanjali to workshops and was intrigued by these sessions. Gitanjali smiles as she recollects, “Indrajeet has an insatiable appetite for knowledge. He had strong views about the absolute power, religion, and spirituality.” Since she was already into the Art of Living, she could relate to him. Indrajeet trusts her completely. “Gitanjali’s presence lifts me up whenever I am in the dumps. She was with me through my testing times, nurtured and guided me,” says the BSL III student. However Gitanjali doesn’t encourage dependence. She wants him to think for himself and take his own decisions. In Gitanjali, Indrajeet has found a patient listener and a musical partner. “Gitanjali and I both understand each other,” he says. “She has become an integral part of my life. Whenever I face a problem in college, with my friends or at home, I call her up. She guides and helps me understand different issues. She is also an expert in classical music. When I have trouble composing a song, we put our heads together and work on it.” While she is travelling, Indrajeet stays in touch through calls and emails. Otherwise they meet up every evening, during prayer time when Gitanjali sings her bhajans and Indrajeet accompanies her on the guitar. “Our relationship has been a learning experience.” Kavita Sagar and Niharika Batra One evening three years ago, while taking a walk in the Raheja Gardens’ soceity garden at Wanawadi, Kavita met Niharika. Niharika was lost in her thoughts. Kavita noticed the wistful look on her face and sat down beside her. The 36-year-old home-maker had seen Niharika and her friends chatting, laughing and discussing life animatedly around the colony. Niharika was apprehensive as her medical entrance exams were just round the corner. It was important for her to secure good rank and get admission in a reputed Government Medical College. She wanted to follow in her father’s footstep, who is a doctor in AFMC (Armed Forces Medical College). Kavita listened to her woes and stood by her. They kept meeting each other and the bond grew. Three years later, not a day has passed without them updating each other about their lives. When Niharika got through the medical entrance exams, Kavita was the first person she shared the news with. Niharika is just as important to Kavita. “From the first moment I met her,” says Kavita, “I knew she was important, special, different and very very rare. Though only 20 years old, she is very mature. She has stood by me in moments of despair. She has touched my life. Our relationship has been a learning experience.” Kavita is an anchor who has helped her evolve. They usually call each other a couple of times a day and go out shopping or for dinner on weekends. “I am a shopaholic,” Niharika discloses. “Kavita has a good fashion sense and her opinion matters to me. I remember the time she helped me choose the right accessories for my yellow and blue kurta.” When Niharika visits, Kavita doesn’t forget to get her favourite ice-cream, paani-puri and bhel. “In the last couple of years, we have found something few people experience,” says Kavita. Inputs by Ishani Bose

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